Teacher jokes are a great way to get a student’s attention!
It doesn’t matter how great the lesson is if the Teacher doesn’t get their student’s attention the lesson will be a failure.
The key to getting a kid’s attention is to be funny, authentic and have the student’s best interest at heart.
While the last two are up to you we can help you with the being funny part.
We have come up with a joke for each of the days the kids are at school and separated them by the month.
There are five days in the school week and four weeks in the month so there will be twenty jokes that will help crack your students up each school day or at the very least, get a little chuckle out of them.
In Florida, our school year starts in August and ends in May so those are the months I will include.
Most school years start in September you will be covered! (Lucky)
We have themed the jokes based on the season or holiday the month correlates with as well.
We have also included some jokes sent in from Teachers from around the world that have helped get their students laughing in their classrooms.
You will see that starting off or ending each day with good teacher jokes will put your students in the right mindset for an amazing day.
August Jokes (Back To School)
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses on the first day of school?
She heard her classes were super bright!
What do turtles do when the first day of school is over?
Why don’t bubbles like to go to school?
They can’t handle the POP quizzes!
What did the crayon say to the colored pencil?
What’s your point! or Looking Sharp!
What did the math book say to the chapter book?
Ha, You thought you had problems !?! or You can count on me!
What school supply is the real King or Queen of the classroom?
What does a Math Teacher climb for fun?
Why did the student eat his/her homework?
S/he didn’t have a dog!
What do you get when you throw a lot of books in the ocean?
A Title Wave!
How can you make the school year fly by?
Just throw a clock in the classroom!
What type of dog does a magician have? A labracadabrador!Jess Heginbotham
Why can’t basketball players go to Elementary School?
They have to go directly to High School!
What dinosaur has the best vocabulary?
Why didn’t the teacher jump into the pool?
S/he wanted to TEST the water first!
Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Because they love the “C” too much!
How do bees get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
What kind of candy do kids eat on the playground?
Why do people think owls are so smart?
It’s because they are good at Owl-gebra!
What is a pirates favorite subject?
What is smarter than a talking dog?
A Spelling Bee
What is a smart student’s favorite candy?
September Jokes (More Funny Jokes)
What is a tree’s least favorite month?
Where do you take a bad rainbow?
What plays music in your hair?
Why are reptiles so good at solving problems?
They are good investi-gators!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
“Aye, Matey” (I’m Eighty)
What do cows favorite game to play?
Truth or Dairy
Which Star Wars character do pirates like the best?
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a skunk?
What does peanut butter wear to bed?
What do monkeys eat for lunch?
Gorilla cheese sandwiches
What does a mouse say after it takes a bath? “I’m squeaky clean!”Krista Holland Kimball
What is a pig’s favorite thing to do at home?
They like bacon cakes!
What do you get if you are allergic to pasta?
Macaroni and Sneeze
What do you call a snake without clothes
How does the sun day hello?
With a heatwave!
What is the funniest time of the day?
Why did little girl like vegetables so much?
She was a Kinder-gardener!
When is a wig too expensive?
When you have toupee!
What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite type of car?
What is an astronaut’s favorite drink?
Why can you always trust a fisherman?
They always keep it reel!
Parent-Teacher conferences are coming up soon now that September is over. Teacher Jokes are a great way to make learning fun but having a plan for your child’s conferences is even more important. To get great tips, check out our article Points To Discuss In A Parent-Teacher Meeting
October Jokes (Halloween)
What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch
Why is a witch good at writing?
They are good spellers!
What is a monster’s favorite ride at the fair?
Which monster is the best dancer?
What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Why is Dracula so good at baseball?
He is a good bat-ter!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no-body to go with!
What is a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme?
Little Boo Peep
Why did the zombie not go to school?
He felt rotten!
What wobbles in the sky? A jellycopter!Hannah WasArnold
What did the circle say to the triangle?
I can see your point!
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear
What is a vampires favorite fruit?
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9
What bear is the scariest?
Winnie the Boo
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Why did Dracula host the Super Bowl Party?
Because he had a big scream TV!
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog!
Where do baby monsters go during the day?
They go to day-scare!
What happens when a ghost gets hurt?
They get a BOO Boo!
Teacher jokes can help lighten up a serious classroom but if a student is having behavior issues even jokes may not be the solution. Check out our article How To Help A Child With Behavior Problems At School for more information.
November Jokes (Thanksgiving)
What is the most negative month of the year?
What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
What is Dracula’s favorite holiday?
Why are turkeys always the best drummers?
Because they have the best drumsticks!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why are turkeys always the first ones done eating?
Because they always gobble, gobble their food!
What is the key to an amazing Thanksgiving?
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Why can’t a turkey ever hit a home run?
They are always hitting fowl balls!
What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips!? A chipmunk.Nancy Kelly Cobelli
Why should you never make box potatoes for Thanksgiving?
Grandma would turn over in her grave-y
Why does everyone get sleepy during Thanksgiving?
Everyone uses Nap-kins!
What is the cutest time of year?
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’m falling for you!
How do leaves get from place to place?
In their Autumn-mobile!
Why did the apple cry?
Because his peelings were hurt!
Why don’t trees like going to school?
Because they’re always getting stumped!
What is a plant’s favorite drink?
How do trees get onto the internet?
It’s easy, they just Log-On
The Holidays are almost here and if you have a little one that will be heading to Kindergarten next school year you will want to be prepared. Check out our checklist for ways to get them ready.
What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
What is a cow’s favorite holiday?
What does a ginger breadman sleep with?
A cookie sheet!
What always falls but never needs a bandaid?
Why is it so cold during hanukkah?
Because it is in Decemberrrrr!
What do Santa’s Elves learn at school?
What does a snowman take when the sun gets too hot?
A chill pill!
What is a snowman’s favorite thing for dinner?
What did the snowman say to the snowwoman?
It’s Ice to meet you!
How does a snowman get to the North Pole?
How do you organize a party in outer space? You Planet!Heather Watson Padgett
What is an Elf’s favorite part of school?
Snow and Tell!
What type of car do Elfs drive?
What is Santa’s favorite dessert?
Ice Krispy Treats!
What is a girl snowman called?
How does Rudolph know when it’s Christmas?
He looks at a Calen-deer!
Which reindeer on Sant’s sleigh had bad manners?
What’s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon?
One lasts eight nights and the other sometimes ate Knights!
What is Santa’s Favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and Jolly!
What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
Where do snowmen go dancing?
The Snow Ball!
January Jokes ( Winter)
Why do New Year’s Resolutions never work?
Because they go in one year and out the other!
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
Why didn’t the banana go to school?
It wasn’t peeling well!
Why is there not a clock in the Media Center?
It tocks too much!
Why was the broom late for school?
Why don’t you give Elsa from the movie Frozen a balloon?
Because She will ” Let it goooo”
What is a snakes favorite subject in school?
Why is it dangerous to do math in the wild?
Because if you add four plus four you get ate!
Why can’t your hands be twelve inches long?
Because it would be a foot!
Is it better to be hot or cold when playing tag during recess?
Hot because you can always catch a cold!
What do cows do for fun? They go to the mooo-vies.Heather Scranton
Did you hear about the kidnapping (kid-napping) at school?
It’s OK, he woke up!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Why doesn’t the sun have to go to school?
It’s bright enough!
Why do Koala bears always get hired?
Because they are the most Koala-fied!
What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper?
Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Why couldn’t the kid see the pirate movie?
It was rated ARRR!
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they have honeycombs!
February Jokes (Valentine’s Day)
What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
What kind of flowers should you never give on Valentine’s Day?
What Valentine’s Day candy is best to give a girl?
What is the best thing to tell a watermelon on Valentine’s Day?
You’re one in a melon!
Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams!
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
What do you call a very small Valentine?
What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and you’ll go places!
What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time?
What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
I love you berry much!
What did the coach say to the vending machine? I want my quarter back!Janet Owings
What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day?
What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
Whale you be mine!
What did one owl say to the other owl on Valentine’s Day?
Owl be yours!
What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day?
My heart beats for you!
Why does Cupid love triangles?
Because they’re acute!
Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?
Because you can party heart-y!
What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
We’re a perfect match!
What did Pilgrims give each other on Valentine’s Day?
Which animal shares the most love?
What did the bat say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
Let’s hang out!
March Jokes (St. Paddy’s Day)
What is a leprechaun’s favorite type of music?
What’s Irish and stays out all night?
What kind of bow can’t be tied?
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Regular rocks are too heavy!
Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover?
You don’t want to press your luck!
What do you call an Irishman bouncing off the walls?
Where can you always find gold on St. Patty’s Day?
In the dictionary!
Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
Because they’re very short-tempered!
What position did the leprechaun play on the baseball team?
What musical instrument do show-offs play on St. Patrick’s Day?
They play the brag-pipes!
What is a pirate’s favorite country? Aarrrrrgentina!Katie Piggott
What did the leprechaun say on March 17?
Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
When it’s a French fry!
Why was the broom late?
What did the frog order at the diner?
French flies and a Diet Croak!
How do you spot a modern spider?
He doesn’t have a web, he has a website!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
What kind of bee can’t make up its mind?
In what school do you learn how to greet people?
What’s the only school where you have to drop out to graduate?
How do they serve smart hamburgers?
On honor rolls!
April Jokes (Spring)
What do bunnies eat in the summer?
Why was the egg so afraid to go to school?
He was a little chicken!
Who brings Easter eggs to all the sea creatures?
The Oyster Bunny!
Why did the chicken start lifting weights?
To get more eggs-ercise!
What did one colored egg say to the other?
Heard any good yolks lately?
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke?
It might crack up!
What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold!
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because the chicken had his Easter eggs!
Where does the Easter Bunny like to eat breakfast?
What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite type of music?
What are the Easter Bunny’s favorite stories?
The ones with hoppy endings!
What did the ocean say to the plane as it flew over? Nothing it just waved!Sherrie Hampton
What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite sport?
What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
Why do Easter eggs sleep so much?
They’re always Egg-hausted!
Where does Dracula keep his Easter candy?
In his Easter casket!
Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
He kept quacking the eggs!
What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
It’s been nice gnawing you.
How does the Easter Bunny know where he buried treasure?
Eggs marks the spot!
How do you know when the Easter Bunny likes a book?
Because he’ll tell you it’s egg-cellent!
What do you get if when cross the Easter Bunny with Fly Guy?
What do you get when you cross the Easter Bunny with Kermit the Frog?
A bunny ribbit!
What do you say to the Easter Bunny on his birthday?
May Jokes (Almost summer)
How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
Where do sheep go on vacation?
Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?
Why are mountains the funniest place to go on vacation?
They are hill-arious!
Do fish go on vacation?
No, because they’re always in schools!
Why should you never blame a dolphin for doing anything wrong?
Because they never do it on porpoise!
Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
They would get called for traveling!
What do you call a pig on a leash?
Why do bananas use sunscreen?
Because they peel!
When do you go on red and stop at green?
When you’re eating a watermelon!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in itNicole Kissell
What does the sun drink out of?
Where do cows go on their summer vacation
What is a beach bum’s favorite month?
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long-time no sea!
What do you give a really hot puppy?
Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?
Because it was overbooked!
Why are kids that ride the bus the best dancers?
Because they are always trying to Bus a move!
Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day?
Because there are lots of fans!
Where do sharks go on summer vacation?
What animal is always at a baseball game?
If you have any more jokes you would like to share please comment below!